Tag: Jesus

I wasn’t original after all

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I recently posted a heresy shower thought that Jesus was a refugee. It turns out, a preacher got there first. Who’d’ve thunk it?

We can see this through the different characters in the story and some of the imagery; a pregnant young woman, a husband scared of scandal, a baby born in the manger, Magi from the East who have to risk speaking to Herod in order to ascertain the birth of a new King, shepherds in the fields struggling to make ends meet and a family at risk who have to flee and take refuge in Egypt. All of these characters in their own circumstance, were vulnerable.

Jesus the migrant: a Christmas journey, Rev Dr Israel Oluwole Olofinjana

Satan and Jesus are brothers

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This will definitely upset some people. Here’s the heresy explanation anyway.

In Job 1:6, The Satan is counted among the sons (בֵּן – ben) of God. Jesus is also God’s son. Therefore, Satan is his older brother.

Many churches teach that Christians are sons of God, which makes Satan our brother as well.

I mean, yeah, some translations go with angels instead of sons for בֵּן, but why let that spoil a perfectly good heresy?

Some nicknames for Jesus sure to upset someone

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  • The Founder
  • The Main Man
  • Big J
  • J.C.
  • God’s Boy
  • Prince O’ P’
  • The First Influencer
  • Teach’
  • The Promised Dude
  • The Dude Himself
  • Satan’s Younger Brother
  • Big Bro
  • Oldest Bro
  • First Bro
  • Our Adopted Brother
  • The Parable Guy
  • Jeezy Creezy
  • Josh
  • The Morning Star
  • The Example
  • Mr. Perfect
  • High Priest
  • Rev. Joshua
  • Sheep Wrangler
  • The Logo

Hit me with your nicknames for Joshua Christ.

You can save your friends from hell by just forgiving them their sins

Posted on | by Matt | Leave a Comment on You can save your friends from hell by just forgiving them their sins

It turns out Jesus doesn’t forgive people’s sins; his followers do (or are supposed to).

So Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. Just as the Father has sent me, I also send you.” And after he said this, he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven; if you retain anyone’s sins, they are retained.”

John 20:21-23 NET

Jesus was against selling things in church

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All those modern churches with their church shops might not have got along with Jesus. He drove people out of the temple shouting, “My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers.” (source)

If you want to really upset your pastor, you could try copying Jesus.