Challange the prevailing dogma, worry your pastor, upset the stuff, make a change in this world.
When you get married, the vicar will ask you which Bible readings you want. Tell them you want your readings from The Song of Solomon. This will make them perspire, as this is a book of erotic poetry. It is full of naughty bits but also some highly romantic bits. Give the vicar a moment to panic before you tell him which bits you want.
Enjoy.
It turns out, God is unfussed about how you dress or look.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7
I am reliably informed that Judaism recognises seven genders.
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Ezekiel 23:20 NIV
Then the Leviticus bit about men lying with men no longer applies, and Jesus is okay with you being gay.
Marina’s mother died when she was very young. When she was older, her father prepared to marry her off and join a monastery. Marina didn’t fancy that. She shaved her hair, joining her father as a monk, Marinos.
During the funeral prayers for Marinos, one of the monks, who was blind in one eye, reportedly received full sight again after he touched her body.
You can read a better account of the saint elsewhere.
For some reason, preachers tend to skip that detail.
“LUCIFER” was not Satan’s real name!
Philip W. Shields, 15 August 2019
This will definitely upset some people. Here’s the heresy explanation anyway.
In Job 1:6, The Satan is counted among the sons (בֵּן – ben) of God. Jesus is also God’s son. Therefore, Satan is his older brother.
Many churches teach that Christians are sons of God, which makes Satan our brother as well.
I mean, yeah, some translations go with angels instead of sons for בֵּן, but why let that spoil a perfectly good heresy?
Lucifer never existed; his name is Heilel, I think you will find.
Hit me with your nicknames for Joshua Christ.
It turns out Jesus doesn’t forgive people’s sins; his followers do (or are supposed to).
So Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. Just as the Father has sent me, I also send you.” And after he said this, he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven; if you retain anyone’s sins, they are retained.”
John 20:21-23 NET
It was Joshua. No, seriously, Yeshua is the short form of Yehoshua, which goes into Greek as Iēsous and that into Latin as Iesus and into English as Jesus. If you translate from the source, you get Joshua.
All those modern churches with their church shops might not have got along with Jesus. He drove people out of the temple shouting, “My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you are making it a den of robbers.” (source)
If you want to really upset your pastor, you could try copying Jesus.